Do NOT accept defeat. EVER.
Anxiety and depression SUCK. There is literally zero question about this. I don’t think I have ever met a single person who wakes up each day and wishes they will have more problems and more anxiety inducing situations so they can fall into deep bouts of stress and depression.
Well, except maaaaybeeee myself. In my acting days, I used to wake up feeling like sh*t and say, “Oh man, this is soooo gooooood for scene prep.” Presently, whenever I feel anxious or depressed, am in situations where I feel trapped, despite the mental chatter telling me all sorts of woe is me stories, there is always an underlying knowing that growth is happening. There is an excitement that I’m learning something new about myself.
This interaction with these emotions is a key that I think is important to talk about right now in light of everything going on in the world….in the life of Sarah Miller, the pain, the discomfort, the challenge, and hurt have always been serving something greater. They have always been a critical part of the ecstatic process of creating – a process that brings me immense joy.
What do we all ultimately crave? Joy. Connection. Meaning. Fulfillment. Adventure. Freedom. Safety. Ease. These are the only reason we do ANYTHING in our lives. For the hope of reaching the mountain peak of experience – to rise above it all and see ourselves as the hero that we always hoped we could be. The savior. The winner.
So often, on the path of life, we’re struck with unexpected situations that give rise to unspeakable pain. Honestly, in a bit of a side note, get okay with this. Like really, really okay with it. There is literally zero you can control in this experience of life but your internal world.
And when these situations arise, we’re confronted with the anxiety that comes from the possibility that who we want to be is a pipe dream that will never come true because of something within us, or even worse, something outside of us that is completely out of our control. And we’re slowed by depression. And we find ourselves angry, yelling at life.That’s not what was supposed to happen -I’m supposed to be the hero.
This person wasn’t supposed to act like that towards me – I’m nice.
I was supposed to have more money by now – I’ve been working so hard.
I was supposed to have a nicer car by now – I’ve been driving this shit thing for ages.
My waistline was supposed to be slimmer by now.
I was supposed to feel more at ease by now.
I was supposed to have more freedom by now.
I was supposed to be happier by now…..
We accept defeat before the journey is over. Rather than taking the discomfort and using it to fuel us even faster and clearer into what we desire, we shut down and start to numb ourselves.And we find that instant high we’re craving with food. And work. Caffeine and drugs. And sex. And cigarettes. And alcohol. Because they give us that temporary feeling of connection exactly when we want it. Of ease. Of joy. Of freedom. But….
Over time, we have adopted so many habits of instant gratification that they’re no longer giving us a temporary pause to keep going, they’re numbing us and enabling us to stay stuck in the moment of defeat. They let us convince ourselves we’re happy. But you take away or threaten one thing in our delicate concoction of daily devices and we freak….so, obviously, we’re not very happy or free deep down. I only know this because I’ve done it. Time and time again.
Every time I’ve been in this place, I’ve been doing a few things:
- making decisions that aren’t fueling what brings me joy – they’re enabling me to temporarily run and hide from dealing. period.
- comparing myself and what brings me joy and how I create to other people
- accepting defeat, rather that simply taking a pause, and hating myself for giving up
I’ve got a free e-book for you on simple ways to un-numb & wake up to your freedom. Would love to send it to you. Just tell me where.
So why am I sharing this?
We, every single one of us, CANNOT ACCEPT DEFEAT before the journey is over. In our minds, and in our world. We must commit to releasing the instant gratification devices we use (social media, food, alcohol, sex, drugs, overworking, complaining, etc) to escape, and feel deeply into each moment, whatever it brings, and USE IT to keep on kindling the fire of that something bigger we’re here creating. Learn to use your life and to question what brings about the pain, and not back down until there is a satisfying illumination of the gifts that have been pulled forth.
Now listen, I’ve not been secret about the fact that I’ve struggled deeply with anxiety and depression. I get that the last thing you want to do when you’re depressed and anxious is have someone spewing shit at you about how you can use your feelings. But, I’ve also forced myself to do this time and time again, because I’m stubborn and not willing to give up on what I want. And I am so grateful to myself for this.
I need you to get stubborn right now. Whatever is going on in your life, do not give up on knowing the hero inside of you. Do not let complaining, gossiping, and whining play. Do not. Instead, feel and keep going. Knowing that whatever that hero wants to overcome, accomplish and create….it will. You’re the hero. Keep going.
Do not let your mind tell you that what you want is impossible. That what you need is never coming. Do not, I repeat, do not, accept defeat. The journey is not over. Truthfully, I have given up like….once a day, every day my entire life. But then, I humbly re-approach myself at some point and say, “Okay, fine, will you let me give it one more go.” And do.
So many people often tell me that I’m courageous. And brave. That they could never do what I do. I tell them this is false. They absolutely could. But they just don’t want to. And that’s fine. But don’t lie to yourself about who you are. Don’t play small. You’re a fucking hero on your own path. Own it. Use what you’re given to paint a life that inspires. That elevates. That uplifts. Rise out of your own sorrow and remind those around you that it can be done.
I find the space of rising within myself each day using meditation, journaling, prayer, yoga, breathing in certain ways, chanting, essential oils, and simple daily acts that reconnect me to creation. Because the mind will always step in and say give up. But I’ve seen time and time again that there is a space within myself that is resourceful and always regenerating.
I show up to cleanse out what is no longer needed, and water the seeds of what is growing. I give each moment a purpose – creation. And then I go create. Because there is way too much destruction going on in this world for me to stand back and just watch. Those holes need filling. And I want them filled with kindness. Love. Inspiration. Magic. Writing is my main squeeze these days. We keep each other going. I’ve got some powerful books coming your way. I can’t wait to share them.
And I want you to find your outlet. You don’t need to be an artist to create. Your LIFE is a creation. A canvas that only you get to paint. Don’t let it just be what you see other people painting or telling you that you need to paint. Let it be YOURS. I want you to commit with me, right now, to take any pain, any discomfort, any situations that make you feel trapped and powerless, and turn them into a creation so beautiful it makes you cry. And DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU’RE THERE.
This is the path that turns those, “I should be happier by now…” moments into, “Holy miracles what a life I’m living.”
You’ll need support along the way. Otherwise, you’ll stop. You need people who can cheer you on in those dark moments when you’re finding the little clues and lights that are necessary to the finished product, but in the moment you’re cursing the treasure map because….”Really?? We had to hide this shit here?! Couldn’t we have put this on a beach in the sunshine with some fruity drinks or something?!”
So, yea. Get support. And get tools to keep yourself in tip top shape. You need those too.
And go. Take your broken heart and turn it into art. Whether the broken heart is coming from what’s going on in the world right now, or whether it’s coming from a past hurt, present overwhelm, or all of the above, we need you. And I promise you, with every cell of my being, that you were born to create magic. The sparkle is embedded in your DNA. Even when you think you’ve given up, you haven’t 😉
My 12-week course Essentoily You is open and running right now. It’s an immersion that will self-guide you through a complete cleanse & clear out of all that’s not serving you. You’ll be guided to remember how to stand in each moment with grace, radiance, and clarity. Even when it’s challenging, because it will be, there can be clarity and purposeful pause that leads to continued perseverance. You’re going to remember what creation feels like.
If you find yourself always knocked down, delayed, procrastinating, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, overworked and underpaid and not able to find any sort of meaning or break from life….do what you need to do to get your butt in the course with me.
You showing up and sharing your heart with this world, without inhibition, is URGENT. You creating free book libraries at the end of your driveway. Spending those extra minutes with your friend over coffee. Connecting with old friends because you’re no longer overworking. Nurturing those you love with surprises because you’re more prosperous than ever. Writing that book or movie. Painting that picture. Sharing that story. Whatever it may be. You living from a space of CREATION is critical right now. And this community and I want to support you. And water you. And dance with you as you bloom.
And if you think that’s impossible….well, I challenge you to give it one last go at being possible 😉
The first week of content – FORGIVE – this week. And it’s already made me cry a few times this morning
I love you with every fiber of my being. And I’m wholly here to support you on your Holy mission through this world. Just your breathing and going about your day is heroic. Please know that.
Trade a life of seeking to understand for a life of living what you already know.
Author | Sacred Space Holder | Speaker
Sarah Miller is author of The Unapologetic You, a sacred space holder, and a speaker. She is currently traveling the world speaking, writing, and holding workshops. To find out when she’ll be in a town near you, be sure to follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
To find out more about how to work with her one on one, click here.
To learn her pillars of living an unapologetic life of miracles, click here.
Want more posts like these straight to your inbox? Just enter your name and email below and I’ll make sure that happens!
MORE FROM THE BLOG.